I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize