Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
