thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
