You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
