her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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