He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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