yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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