But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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