He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
