he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
