Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
