Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
