Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
