I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
