Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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