He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
