i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you win again, gameday.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
