I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
