There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
