she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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