i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
