Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
