youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
