On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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