i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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