paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
