It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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