I smell stomach acid.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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