Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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