Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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