We're facebook friends in real life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
