I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
