3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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