I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
