Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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