names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
