that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
