your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
