Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
