i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
