yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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