Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
