you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
