I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
