i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
