So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
