I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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