is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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