he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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