Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
