He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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