Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
