Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
