I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
