I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
