Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
