so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
