I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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