Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
