The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My life is pants optional.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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