Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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