your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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