come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
