No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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