I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
