Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
