She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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